Okay, so there are a few things I need to get off of my chest.

First, after work yesterday, I decided to go to Macy’s. They’re having a big sale and I needed to get a new bikini. Well, I searched and searched for a swimsuit that I wanted to try on, and then in the snap of my fingers I ended up with six different suits to try. So I got in line to use a dressing room…and waited…and waited…and waited. About ten minutes later, I get to the room. What do I find? The thickest, most God-awful stench of feet that I have ever inhaled through my horrifically abused nostrils. Was there a reason for this repulsive-pod to take off her shoes and socks? Was she even wearing any shoes or socks? Suddenly, the exit of my predecessor flashed through my mind while cringing at every inhalation. Was she ugly? Did she even appear to have showered? I couldn’t remember. At the defeat of the multi-layered odor, I quickly tried on the suits and must have gotten used to it. Is that wrong? I think I should have had the sense to go back out and ask the attendant for some deodorizer.

Second, I came across the most amusing person on the bus today. No, this was not one of the many trans-gendered or gender bender commuters that I encounter on a daily basis (I’m over it). Let me first develop the canvas: a 60-year old white male. And now we can proceed to the details. From the top, his hair was shaved on both sides to create some form of a Mohawk. Rather than stiffening the ‘hawk, and standing it on end, or letting it hang down on the side or back, he moussed it and brought it forward to create a wavy bouffant-esque do. Then, moving down, he had a piercing in the bridge of his nose. Actually, it was more of a spike or a stick going completely through. He also had piercings in his cheek and his lip. Then on the ears, he had those big holes that get stretched out with rings, and on the right ear he had a spike going from the top of his cartilage and down through to the bottom of his lobe. Ouch! Next, he had on a ton of necklaces, and a zebra striped shirt with zebra striped pants. To top off ‘the look’, he had to be wearing some tough biker looking boots, of course. Man, I knew I should have brought my camera with me today.  ¶ 3:04 PM (0) comments