Mood-o-meter: booooorrred

I hate it when women wear shoes that are obviously too small for them. And I mean OBVIOUS, like when their toes are hanging off the front deck. Ick! That's just unattractive, don't you think? Isn't human behavior sometimes just so intriguing?
Every day I think of things to blog. Nearly every day. And then when I get to work it's gone. Evaporated from my mind. I guess I should jot these thoughts down, because I remember that they're good. I just can't remember the thought itself. I could even just take a few quick notes, like only key words that would bring it all back to me as soon as I sit in front of the computer.

I walked to work today. It was strange. As soon as I arrived at Powell Street, it was as if a miniature stampede of other pedestrians on their way to work had appeared. This never happens. So as soon as I crossed the street, I felt as if I were in a race. There were petite girls on either side of me, gaining on my speed. They were inching up, like horses trying to take first place in the race. The worst part is that I picked up MY speed. I fed into it. Why is it that when we feel like someone is trying to catch up to us or “beat” us, we have to play along and show them up? I noticed this happens while driving, as well. If a car is speeding up to your vehicle, there’s an innate urge to pick up another 10 miles per hour and race ahead. Am I crazy?
  ¶ 10:39 AM (0) comments

  All right. I just decided. As Michelle keeps drilling into my head, this is going to be Girl Power Summer 2004. No more Miss Nice Girl. I’m going to start working on me. I need to go back to school. I want to learn. I want to exercise. I’m beginning the new development of the new and improved, additive-free Katster.

This winter I came to a realization that I have put next to no effort into pursuing a relationship, which was fine. I needed the time to be alone, have my selfish time, and enjoy my surroundings. But upon this conclusion, I began to change my expectations and feelings toward the issue. I miss being in a relationship. I miss handholding, cuddling, making out…and sex. But I can’t look for it, either. I’m no longer going to seek it out. The search leaves me mostly with want and a lot of wasted time and energy.

I’m a firm believer in life being what you make of it. I do not agree with the whole “destined” or “meant-to-be” path. So I date. I look for prospective Mr. Rights on match.com or other means for finding a mate. I also agree that things happen to us when we least expect them and when we’re looking, we’re certainly expecting. Should I keep looking? I don’t think I’ve been very proactive in my search, as it is. I don’t think it’s taken so much time out of my life.

City College of San Francisco is holding placement tests this Saturday, so I’m going to head down there early Saturday morning. I need to get things started for myself. The more educated I am, the more I’ll have to offer.
  ¶ 10:05 AM (0) comments